i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing it’s fins

(via whatmyfuturelookslike)


peter parker’s job is literally selling his selfies to the daily bugle

(via polikuy)


I wish boobs did the bra thing without having to wear the bra

(via iwillkillallmyfriends)



If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

Why the fuck would I do that

(via iwillkillallmyfriends)